I could rattle off the family roles I have played in my life: husband, father, brother, son, grandson, cousin and nephew. I could ramble on about the career roles: marketer, trainer, video producer, speaker, entertainer, writer and consultant. I could define myself as the sum total of all the experiences I have lived, or an amalgam of every friendship I have learned from.
But would any of these single labels really capture the essence of who I am today? Honestly, the answer to that question is a moving target. It’s relative to what’s happening at the time and which environment I am thrown into. I don’t really want my life narrowed down to a simple definition because it doesn’t accommodate evolution.
The best I can give you is this… a personal mission statement. It’s a three-part guiding principle I decided to follow at the beginning of this year:
“To inspire, entertain and model my own advice.”
Inspire and entertain are both pretty self-explanatory, but “model my own advice” means I will not recommend anything to anyone else that I would not do myself. It’s kind of a Golden Rule for Gurus.
So who am I? I’m a regular guy navigating life’s trials the best he can, setting a good example by achieving the most he can, and helping others along the way. If you drift into my sphere of influence, I hope you get inspired and have a laugh or two while you’re here. Take all you want. No charge.
The only charge I hope you feel is the electric shot of adrenaline you receive when you achieve one of your life’s goals. There’s nothing I love more than seeing you discover who you really are too.
We are all works in progress. And labeling is pointless. Only God can define and humble us by showing us humility. So I leave the labeling up to Him. Titles mean nothing. We do not take these to the grave. Anything of ego or materialism is useless. The only thing to navigate life by is reality. Our own perceptions are false. They are NOT REAL. Nothing is, except in how we show up… SELFLESS, unconditionally, doing the work that matters and that is reaching out to our brothers and sisters and being of service, giving, sharing and being. We do not need to even state what is stated to be understood. It is fully comprehended by our actions alone for actions speak louder than words. As does gratitude. When we can say THANK YOU – to every single person… friend or foe, all human souls, only in that do we really know the true meaning of LIFE.
Define, I’m the happy healthy manifestation of God!
Good job, Dave. I’m with you.
David — Thank you for your inspiration!!
Although Stacey has a point “titles are useless or meaningless” (I’m paraphrasing of course), I have to respectfully disagree with most of what she wrote.
Many Evangelical, Christian leaders describe themselves as inspirational or motivational speakers, authors, etc. They use their TITLES (AKA talents) to inspire, motivate, and uplift people. They also never forget to thank God for being blessed with those talents; never taking for granted what they have been given. They give back without expecting anything in return.
In my opinion there is nothing wrong with a title just so long as the person does not allow the title or titles define who he/she is. It is obvious David falls into this category. I think Stacey should open her mind a little more and take life a little less serious.
Being negative will never draw people to you, Stacey, and if you are Christian being negative will push people away from God. Reevaluate yourself, your life, and your attitude. To quote one of my favorite Christian motivational speakers, the wonderful Zig Ziglar, “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”
Jayne, you have eloquently expressed what I was feeling in response to some of what Stacey said, and brought up some very good points, as did Stacey.
I’m a bit confounded by Stacey’s statement regarding reality, and I’m not sure what she means. HER reality, the one she chooses to accept, seems obvious, attaching to things like “showing up, and unconditional selflessness being some of her credos. But even these are titles and labels, and we all have them. The titles and labels are not useless, because it is what WE OURSELVES think regarding definitions, values, and applications of the words that makes the difference. In that, as far as commonality of purpose, I believe I can stand with you both.
However, I’m at odds with “navigating life by reality.” I mean, what is that Stacey? I don’t believe that “accepting reality” is a principle upon which we can navigate life. That would be to think that “what I can see and comprehend is truth…” which I will never believe as a final conclusion. I have the same issue regarding “facts…” they are always relative to a temporary and momentary perspective.
Titles set aside, it boils down to good people and not so good people, and varying levels of goodness. Goodness is purity, and anything less is the individual human limiting in consciousness that which is pure goodness.
Regarding Stacey’s focus on giving and gratitude, I pretty much agree with her. And I agree with you regarding titles – it is not the person fulfilling the image of what they think the title represents, but rather the person who brings meaning to any title.
I am a Christian who has been eased out of several churches and groups because of my tendency to think and believe unconventional things. And I am a big fan of Ziglar. I also am completely in line with Buddhist philosophy. How’s that for openness? All truths come from the same source, and all are only a more limited view of the larger picture.
… with a little of my own color and tint, I pretty much generally find myself in alignment with you both. I can see that each of you follows your heart as to what you feel is right, and that’s the main thing. How we go about doing this is just the infusion of our own individual details.
Thank you, Roland and Jayne for your shared thoughts. What I mean by titles is that if you look in the today’s world – everyone is quick to title… label people, identify them before they even have a chance to identify themselves. And they take liberties to do this without anyone’s consent. And this is what I am talking about. Walking away from the idea that everyone must be contained by the conventional idea of what society dictates. There are two worlds… the human world and the spiritual soul world. We can be spiritual souls, but we all have to navigate our reality in our human flesh. Our soul knows to be grateful and loving and express gratitude and not take anything or anyone for granted. But other humans in the reality of the ‘real world’ don’t always follow-suit. Thus… the ‘Do unto others’ philosophy is a good rule for us to live by when we deliver our best and good intentions, kindness, love and action, however when it is only one-sided, and other humans have not arrived at the place of wanting to be in this place (think of how violent our world has become). We can be grounded, evolved, have solid core ethics and values. We can have integrity and be in a pathway of forgiveness and live this way. I like to live this way. When you look at the outside world that is filled with the reality of a collection of souls living between the spiritual soul level of living and the other souls who live solely in the human world, human greed and things like racism and violence come into play – this is where the question of reality comes in…. human world vs. soul world.
All that matters is love and Universal love and Truth. And that is what I mean by this ‘title’ thing… If we are ALL exactly this… If we are our faith, truth, love… does it really matter if we have all the other titles? This is what I want to clarify. What we do for a living does not define our heart.
Namaste.
We might agree on a few things in the discussion, such as a misplaced value on titles, and how people use them to convey things. The issue I would address is that no matter what someone’s intentions are, they will often be misinterpreted by someone else.
The primary place you and I probably disagree is in regards to “reality,” and our existence as spiritual beings. To me, there is no human vs soul world. It’s all one. I believe that being human is a choice my higher self made, well aware of the limitations I would have while representing “existence” in the state of being human, and entering into the agreement joyously. So, to me, there is no excuse for just “being human,” …unless you want to see life that way… in which case, it is yours (and others’) God given right to view things that way.
If we are eternal beings, and I believe we are, then we are not in danger of dying, but rather making transition in and out of the human state… perhaps there are more states as well. Either way, since I have chosen the perspective of a “spiritual being deciding to select the option of a temporary human expression,” I do not fear death, nor do I feel that there is any way I must be a victim “by definition” of being human. However, I do acknowledge that many feel the need to take a stand on “reality,” thinking that what they perceive as being real is something of a “high truth.” But I don’t necessarily agree. Quite often I have found that the things I considered to be “facts” were not absolute. My theory, to extrapolate that experience further, is that there are no absolutes, and that everything is relative to a perspective and a point in time. But I cannot hold myself hostage to what appears to be “real,” or “common” even, just because of temporary statistics.
Inasmuch as I am human, I am a spiritual being as well, and simultaneously. And I choose to live my life from the highest perspective that I can, not limited to human attributes exclusively. It is my explanation for miracles, magic, and much of the seemingly inexplicable that we experience. I will never stop believing that “anything is possible.” Nor that I must face someone’s view of reality and accept it, in spite of trends, records, statistics, and opinion. I may not be an Albert Einstein or Nicola Tesla, but I just may discover that I have more to offer by believing that I am as much a part of their reality as I am yours, and not limiting myself to even that.
We are all forced to apply labels to some extent. It is how the human mind works, and how we devise “tools” to navigate life, as you might say, and give us an ever-changing set of values with which to make our decisions. But as soon as one attempts to grasp reality, in my opinion one’s primary cause is doomed, because, as we are learning, your idea of reality and mine seem to be vastly different, and no two people will agree on everything.
I am somewhat confounded by your analysis on forgiveness. To attach a value to forgiveness, there must first be acknowledgment of guilt, and by definition this implies judgment. Being a Christian, and also a dedicated student of “New Thought,” the only path to forgiveness is to learn how not to judge. Yet, to some extent, we judge in everything we do. But when we try to apply what we feel is right for ourselves to “all others,” this is where I think we get messed up. “Do unto others” is a principle that we might do well to live by no matter what dimension we apply it to. Then, following that with non-judgment, we find that we have not engaged in acknowledging guilt, so there is no “blame bullet,” and forgiveness is then not even necessary. To accept the concept of forgiveness as a premise for everyday principle is to endorse judgment.
Reality, judgment, good intentions, being grounded…. these are all separate, yet integrated, subjects that we could talk about. Where I have some personal resistance is in considering that “solid core ethics and values” must be the same for all, and that if they are not, I might be reasonable in determining something additional or extended regarding that person, thus “classifying him/her” in contrast to myself. And further, I have issues with placing myself within an acceptable framework of values, while placing others (titles given or no…) who are different, “outside” that framework. So in this, I would tend to agree with you – titles are not accurate ways of assessing our fellow man. And we would be very wrong indeed to make a practice of it.
Lastly, I would take some issue with your statements using “everyone” as a qualifier. I do believe that “many,” maybe the vast majority, are quick to title and label. I’m not sure you mean everyone. I was once cornered by a woman who identified herself as a “feminist,” and proceeded to explain her views regarding men and their unacceptable attitudes toward women. Then, after about 15 minutes of going on she paused… looked at me curiously, and noted how calm I was. Then she said, “You’re taking all of this pretty well.” And my response was, “Well, I don’t believe that you’re talking about me.” I may develop opinions in regards to people, and even ethnicities, and cultures. However, I try and never prejudge any individual based on a visual, ethnic or cultural likeness to anyone else.
I do not agree that everyone is quick to title and label others, and therefore prejudge. I picture myself in the edge of the wave of people striving to challenge that example, and do exactly what you indicated – lead with love, truth, and faith.
David, great question! I love this quote near the end of the book and the movie, “Prince of Tides.” Pat Conroy is a great writer. You really need to see the movie to appreciate the following quote but it says a lot:
“So I returned to my Southern home and my Southern life.
It is in the presence of my wife and children… … that I acknowledge my life, my destiny.
I am a teacher…… a coach…… and a well-loved man.
And it is more than enough.”
To be a well loved man you have to give love. Unselfishly and asking nothing in return. At the end of your life it will be all that matters.