Loving relationships can be hard. But no matter how hard they become, living without love is even harder. So we do the best we can, making some mistakes and trying to correct them along the way. If we’re lucky, we get to experience the joy of being loved and a human connection that lasts a lifetime. In other words, it’s worth it.
You may love your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, your kids, your family or your best friends. You give yourself without condition and enjoy what comes back in return. There seems to be one person, however, who is always the most difficult to love.
Do you love… you? It’s not a simple question.
I know I’m NOT lovable 24 hours a day. I have weaknesses, flaws and idiosyncrasies. I don’t always mean what I say or say what I mean. I do my best to give my time to others, but don’t always prioritize it right or make the necessary sacrifices to give all I can give when it matters. I don’t always look good, smell good, dress right or answer my email fast enough.
All that being said… I am able to love the best in me. I choose to focus on my positive traits, making the best of my God-given talents, and most importantly, forgiving myself for all that stuff I wrote in the last paragraph. I’ve accepted that I am not perfect, never will be, and it doesn’t matter. I can stand up and say that I am proud of who I am, and continue to look at the brightest bright side I can find in every life situation that comes before me.
Why? Because if you can love you, it opens the door wider for loving others. Dwelling on your faults and second-guessing your next move creates an energy-sucking layer of self-doubt that keeps you from your best. If you ask, you may discover that others actually do not care about your faults as much as you think they do.
Can you forgive your own rough exterior and focus in on the light radiating from your soul? Can you let go and let it shine for others to see?
My commitment for my remaining years on this planet is this – I’m letting myself go. Letting go to love others, to love myself, and to make a difference. Is there anything holding you back from letting go?
Can you love… you?
Note: I took this photo during my college photography class. It’s a three-faced porcelain dollhead reflecting in a mirror. You can make your doll Happy, Sad or Asleep by turning its head inside the bonnet. I loved the juxtaposition of expressions, with Happy being seen only through reflection. A pretty straightforward message, I think.
David – What a beautiful topic and so applicable to all of us. Thanks for encouraging us to make peace with ourselves so that we have more love to share with others.
Great writing.. Loved it.
I have declared 2011 my year of “letting go,” letting go of worry about being perfect in everything. Letting go of fears and letting go of old emotions. Hopefully I can also let go of about ten pounds, too!
You touched on some excellent points.
“If we’re lucky, we get to experience the joy of being loved and a human connection that lasts a lifetime.”
I lost the love of my life almost 10 years ago. I’ve had tremendous pressure put on me to ‘move on’ and ‘find someone new’, because I’m ‘still young’. What I’ve learned is that I’m very comfortable in my own skin, with my own company. I love me. I’ve learned to love the new life I have. It isn’t the life I preferred, but it’s the one I’ve built…I think of it as my ‘remodel’.
Hello David,
I befriended on facebook (fb) after seeing your survivor pitch and today noticed your blog link via fb.
This is my first time, perusing through your blog and was sorry to hear about your brother, but happy you had an epiphany to start thinking about others first in life.
I remember being self-centered and judgmental, until experiencing bell’s palsy with partial paralysis to my face during pregnancy at age 25. Afer delivery, the symptoms subsided and left me with a different outlook on life.
I believe tragedies in life make us think about what is important. We begin caring about our neighbor, because we have a different perspective.
Lord knows, if I had it, I would contribute to your brother’s fund, but I am trying to put my youngest through college as a single mother. However, all my spare time is devoted to community service.
Oh, I came across your post from December about the “Tiger Socks” and immediatley pictured Ralphie in “A Christmas Story.” Your socks were reminiscent of Ralphie’s rifle request during dinner. Your story is just as cute too.
Wow, your blog brings readers to tears, laughter and reflection.
Thank you,
Kim
Thanks David…Something to think about on a daily bases.
Well done, David. It is a most important subject about which you have written. Self-acceptance is the basis for healing, higher consciousness, and love. And you’re right – loving yourself does allow more of that outreach to others. Having negative issues regarding self is what contaminates the rest of our thinking. It causes us to see others in restricted light. It filters our interpretation of what we experience, and disallows the advantage of a higher view. It limits what love can experience and share with everyone.
So without the filter of non-acceptance, we are more free to experience a clearer reality, judge better, think more creatively, love more, and be outbound with our consciousness instead of restrictive and protective… and the fears go away….
Such is true freedom.
Roland.
Peace David
It’s always a pleasure to read your postings. You nailed it. With out self love you’ll never experience true LOVE.
I believe it is impossible for two human beings to truly love one another in the purest sense without first loving themselves. Excellently written and profound truths David.